Going to sleep together

This is the direction these nights always end up taking, so I wouldn’t quite say it was surprising when they eventually offered we play a game. Imagine your ordinary sleepover with your friends, if you will; the closest classmates you would’ve loved at the age of 14. Surely, my first one with those specific girls after I had transferred schools, but nothing out of the ordinary for me. Making friends is nothing hard at that age when you gravitate toward averageness.

She grabs both my shoulders with enthusiasm in her eyes and flashes the biggest grin at me. Honestly, there was charm, and I would be lying if I said that her upbeat demeanour had never got me a little flustered. Somehow, her joie de vivre had me more excited for this party than for any I had ever been to. She also had that strawberry perfume that gave her this sweet aura, and I was jealous for anyone whose smell could be this positively intoxicating.

It seemed that day had been planned for quite a while. When I had first realised that I had only been invited to replace that one friend of hers who stood them up, I was slightly offended. However, there was something about her that made it so I found myself physically unable to say no, and either way, I don’t think I was that much of a stand-in. The sincerity she had displayed when she had clasped her hands around mine, asking me to take part in her sleepover, had chased off any negative emotion I might have felt.

Now, she looks at me and hands me over a bottle, blushing. The label surprises me, but I suppose that when she had promised me this would be the party of my life like I would never have again, she had implied we would be getting up to a bit of mischief. I look around for my paper cup that I must have misplaced somewhere, but her giggle tells me to stop. First, she places the bottleneck in between her rosy lips and takes a big sip. Second, she hands me the bottle again, an even larger grin on her face.

To my surprise, there wasn’t much left inside by that point. I give an embarrassed shrug as I chug down the last bit of it, straight from the bottle as she had just done, touching the same glass neck she had just touched. My heart skips a beat as incomprehensible thoughts cross my mind. Those were feelings that had never even grazed my consciousness in the past, and for a moment, I found myself hoping her other friends would disappear.

That is but a silly idea; she takes back the bottle from my hands as I realise she had probably asked it back when I was lost in a daydream. The group gathers and sits on the floor and she puts it on the floor. Spin the bottle – I suppose she simply needed to have it empty before playing. I shrug; but of course, what was I thinking?

I timidly sit next to her, where a seat was left out. Her eyes don’t leave mine as I do so, and more complicated feelings surface. I can’t tell if I’m imagine things any more or not, but she insists on smiling to me. Though, I quickly notice other people’s stares too. It’s my turn. When did they say that? For how long had I been lost in her eyes like that?

As I reached for the bottle, I found myself hoping again. I was hoping it would stop on her, and as it spun, it was as if time itself had stopped. Not listening to the silent pleas of my heart, however, it didn’t end up pointing in her direction. For a moment, I even thought I had caught a glimpse of disappointment in her smile. In an attempt to shut down those feelings I couldn’t understand, I tried to play it cool and simply made a move toward the other person, leaning in for a kiss.

She laughs and abruptly catches me by the shoulder, preventing me from moving any further. Her giggle had a touch of nervousness, I thought to myself. Then, for the first time in a while, I actually heard her voice clearly, instead of the distant daydreaming state I had been in.

“That’s not how we had planned on playing it. Didn’t you listen?”

Space and time distorted around me as she pulled out a gun and placed it in between my hands. She shows me how to properly cock it and accompanies my finger on the trigger, in a strangely romantic manner.

“Silly, you always have your head in the clouds. Come on, I promised it, that if you joined us, it would be the party of your life, like you would never have again?”