everyone keeping too quiet, everyone being too abstract, and i couldn't relate, i couldn't relate to what has obviously been my entire life

rain rocks fall with such a quiet thud
do we ever recover from the lies we told ourselves
fake excuses to explain the violence we thought to be untrue
"i'm so lucky no one's ever attacked me"
"i'm so lucky i've managed to live free"
sweet scent of denial on a tuesday morning
truly tragic as it was the heart and not the mind that coped
we weren't oblivious
we saw the way you shoved us to the ground
yet thought it must have been a response to evilness
perhaps had we deserved everything that was coming at us
on lonely days where fate brought us to our knees
we thought it must have been an unknowable reason
and the self-hate gathered momentum

rain rocks with such a quiet thud
meeting each other shattered everything
the fragile reality that could only exist so long as we were lucky
it broke into a thousand pieces to scream we had never been free of harm
the hurt deeply ingrained in our hearts
we weren't oblivious and we could feel it all along
but somehow
somehow
we had still never known why

rain rocks with such a quiet thud
lesbophobia